Cold jokes.....Brrr

冷笑话1

有一天小明很无聊，便跑到山洞去。

他对山洞大喊：“有人在吗?"(福建话）

他就听见有人回答：“吾。。。。”

结果他被火车撞死了。


冷笑话2

甲：有只兔子跟一只跑得很快的乌龟赛跑，你猜谁赢了？
乙：兔子。
甲：错了。是乌龟赢了。都说是跑得很快的乌龟了！

甲：那我再问你，有只兔子跟一只戴着墨镜的乌龟赛跑，你猜谁赢了？
乙：兔子。
甲：又错了。是乌龟赢了!
甲：因为那个乌龟拿下墨镜，原来就是那只跑得很快的乌龟！


冷笑话3

Q:为什么SUPERMAN的衣服每次都是紧紧的？
A:因为衣服上写着“S"size。

A man was sitting in an aeroplane seat when he noticed his old
friend sitting behind him. The man immediately got up and greeted
this friend behind him. After that, the pilot made an announcement.
The man, realising that the pilot was also his friend, went to the
c ockpit to greet the pilot, who happened to have the same name as
his old friend. However, the man was taken away by the FBI and CIA
after he greeted the pilot. Why?

Ans:

Someone accidentally dropped a dumpling onto the ground. Who will
pick up the dumpling?

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How do prawns laugh?

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Which Chinese Emperor in history is bilnd?

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Which Chinese host dun hav centre parting?

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Why can't foxes (hu li) climb trees?

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Once upon a time there are 2 bros Da Ming and Xiao Ming. Xiao Ming grew up by drinking milk everyday. What does Da Ming drink, then?

Ans:

Among Xiao Hong, Xiao Bai, Xiao Hei, Xiao Lan, Xiao Huang, who cannot tahan roller-coasters?

Ans:

why is 1(yi1) laziest while 2(er3) is the most hardworking??

[ Click on the spoiler tab =) ]

Spoiler:

Q1) Ah mei's dad has 7 wives, the 5th and 7th are africans. Guess a Chinese idiom.

A1)

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Q2) There's a party in the forest but... who didn't get to eat the cake!?!

A2)

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Q3) Ah bao was murdered! however the police quickly found the killer.. who is it?

A3)

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Q)What did BATMAN say when he fell down?

A)

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Q) Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?

A)

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Q)xiao yang(goat), xiao niu(cow) and xiao zhu(pig) went to 7-11. xiao niu and xiao zhu were beaten up.why xiao yang was not beaten up?

A

Spoiler:

A)who is the mother of glutinous rice balls (tang yuan)?

Q)

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A)The bun (bao1) was lying dead on the floor. The spoon (tang chi), fork (cha) and knife (dao) were there. Who killed the bun?

Q)

Spoiler:

Mantou n tau sar pao were veri gd frens...
when mantou left n migrated...y did tau sar pau cry?

Spoiler:

psychological test...(maybe??)

once there was a veri tall coconut tree...
one day ironman, spiderman, batman and superman walked past the tree and saw it...
dey decided to challenge each other to see who could pluck the most bananas from that tree...
who won?

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Q: Which important person in China history is the fastest ever?

A:

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Q)Which country got no vegetables?

ANS:

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Q)Which country is very unlucky?

ANS:

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A bit racist..

What do you get when you see My Chemical Romance (MCR) chasing after a bunch of indians?

Spoiler:

HAHAHA. waalau super dumb lah. haha. cheered up my day! haha. and the quiz was super lame lah! i didnt even notice it was banana from coconut tree. haha

oh my god yijia! LOLx......

haha cause reading thru fast ma. in the end... ZZZ! zhao zhi dao dont choose. haha. helped to pass time in class sia! i like the first page jokes. haha

Q: McDonald's uncle and KFC uncle, which one is more skilful?

A1:

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A2:

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A3:

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Q: Singapore got a lot of FT's, like yin4 lao2 (indonesian workers) and fei1 lao2 (phillippines). But which kind of FT earn the most?

A:

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Q: Why cannot sleep with an empty stomach?

A:

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Q: What kind of bird is the most unlucky?

A:

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Q: A captain bought a new ship. He loaded all the electrical applicances onboard, except TV. Why?

A:

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Q: 2 birds sitting on a tree branch, a goat was eating grass below the tree. a hunter came by, saw the goat and shot it. the female bird said something to the male bird and tio raped. what did the female bird told the male bird?

A:

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Q: Xiao Zhu (Pig), Xiao Mao (Cat) and Xiao Gou (Dog) went for a class. The teacher will ask who to bei4 (read aloud) the textbook first?

A:

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Q: Xiao Ming stepped on shit, but why isn't his shoe dirty?

A:

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Q: Why after dinner, the whole family like to sit down in front of the TV and watch TV?

A:

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What thing...that the maker doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, the user cannot see?

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